Thinking Buddies

One of my biggest learnings from 2024 is how much I need other people to help me think through my leadership challenges. These people - I call them my “Thinking Buddies” - become especially crucial when emotions run high, and the path forward seems difficult and complicated.

I've come to realise that I'm not struggling with leadership, because I lack knowledge or experience. My challenge is much more fundamental: I have trouble bridging the gap between knowing what needs to be done and actually figuring out how to do it.

Let me be honest about my expectations. I believe leadership should be easier. At my age, with all my experience, I secretly think I should be exempt from the hard work of breaking down complex problems. Shouldn't leadership just flow naturally? Shouldn't it be simple?

But here's the truth I've discovered: Each problem - even ones I've solved before - requires a fresh approach. What worked yesterday doesn’t automatically work today. Every new leadership challenge demands new creative thinking. And, most importantly, new ways of breaking down the steps on how to do it.

Here’s a story that illustrates this. Take something as simple as buying a birthday card for a friend. Sounds easy, right? I know what I need to do. I know why I want to do it. But watch how quickly I can get stuck.

My typical approach? "I'll just get a card. Later." I convince myself it'll be simple. But when my “Thinking Buddy” starts asking questions, everything changes.

"Where will you get the card?"

"A shop."

"Which shop?"

"The Newsagent down the road."

"How far is that?"

"About ten minutes. Maybe thirteen with parking."

"When will you go?"

"Um... sometime soon."

"When are you actually free when the shop is open?"

Suddenly, what seemed like a five-minute task becomes a 25-minute expedition requiring actual planning.

This is the heart of leadership. It's not about grand strategies or impressive skills. It's about breaking down seemingly simple tasks into actionable steps. It's about recognising that "knowing" and "doing" are worlds apart.

Project Nexus understands this deeply. We're not focused on leadership as an abstract concept. We're focused on leaders - real people trying to move from leadership to leading action. It is why Incubate focuses on each person as a leader, helping them to understand who they are, including their compulsions, as they lead. Our Activate program brings leaders together where they pose their real challenges. Challenges like, “How do I find a good core leader to partner with while I lead my edge activity?” “What steps do I need to take to develop my new idea from a thought bubble to a first test run?”

Our Coaching program provides individual support for specific, time-sensitive issues.

The magic happens when leaders stop believing they should have all the answers and start asking for help. When we slow down. When we detail out each small step. When we admit that leadership isn't about being a superhero but about being human-sized and honest about what we, each of us, need to move forward.

I get overwhelmed easily as a leader. I start a project knowing the goal, feeling confident. Then suddenly, I'm lost in a thousand potential directions. This is where my Thinking Buddies save me. They help me find my first step. They help me breathe.

The bottom line? Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about being willing to ask the right questions. It’s about team. It’s about recognising that with a little support, not only is leadership possible - it can be truly transformative.

PS. Those fancy words like Project Nexus, Incubate, Activate, and Coaching? They're just sophisticated ways of saying: "Can you help me think through how I can lead this?” Maybe they are just fancy ways of saying, “Thinking Buddy.”