I have just returned to work after a long break. It was a great time with family and friends. We went on a road trip around the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, ate too much food in Melbourne, listened to K-Pop in the car for hours on end - it was great. It also gave me time to think and ask myself some questions, without someone pushing me for an answer. Like, do I want to go back to work? And, if so, what work?
Then I returned to work. The first meetings were like drinking water from a fire hose. So many things rushed at me. This is important, and so is this, and this needs to be done and that is a priority, and…. I get it. They have not been on holiday. They are bringing me up to speed. They are focused on the work they are in the middle of doing. What they don’t know is that I have been asking, “do I want to be here?”
The first question I ask myself is a simple one: Do I want to return to work? If my work self-combusted and was no longer there, would I cheer or want to restart it?
When no one is pushing me for an answer, I often drift to this follow-up question: Is there something else I want to do?
If I still haven’t answered either question, the next question hits me the day before going back: Am I looking forward to going back to work? Or do I wish I was doing something else?
There have been years where all the questions build up to a final question, usually just after the fire hose meeting soaks in: Can I see a reason for me to be here? Do I sense a purpose, a role, a passion for this work? Or do I need to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I desire to be somewhere else?
If I get to that last question and remain unsure of the answer, which has happened in my life many times, then I have experienced two separate answers:
Put these questions aside for the moment and get on with the work. Think about it in six months.
Who can I talk with to discuss how I am feeling?
I believe both of these are great answers. The reason I think this is because both are intentional. Be intentional about marking a time in your calendar to revisit these questions in six months. Don’t accidently leave it ten years. Be intentional about speaking with someone. Get support, take steps, be intentional.
I can say that this year I answered the very first question with excitement to get back to my work. At times, I was so excited that I admit to doing “a little” work on my holidays. Passion with a sense of purpose can do that. As Seth Godin said, “when your work has purpose and passion, you don’t need a holiday from work. You take a holiday to experience new things, not to run away from work.”
Touring the Great Ocean Road gave me inspiration for what I do and what I believe can be done this year. I literally would rebuild it if it self-combusted. I know there have been times when I returned to work but wanted out. Those times help me appreciate the work I get to do at the moment and the people I get to do it with.
