Project Nexus talks a heap about permission to lead. This includes a leader needing to receive permission. I say it that way, because there is a difference between someone giving you permission and you receiving that permission.
Let me tell you about Meg. The italicised parts are where others gave her permission and she received it.
Meg now runs a paint-n-sip art class business. Have you been to one of these? It is where a group of people gather to have a fun night painting a picture, led by an art teacher, while they all drink wine and eat food.
Meg got into these paint-n-sip classes, because her friends asked her to run one for them as a fun Sunday afternoon activity. At the time, she was a teacher's-aide in a primary school, who did a bit of art on the side. When her friends asked her to lead one, she had never been to one or led one. But these friends gave her permission to try, partly because they knew her and partly because she was willing to do it for just the cost of the materials. They would provide the wine and food.
But here is the significant part: she said, why not? In other words, she received the permission.
The afternoon she ran was a heap of fun. They each did a cheap ink drawing, because that was all Meg could afford with the budget she had. But one of Meg's friends said, “thank you. You were so much fun. You should do this for others.”
She laughed uneasily, then thought, can I give myself permission to do this?
The answer: not straight away. Over the next 9 months, what she did was ask herself some questions–Do I even want to do this? Am I compelled to do this, even if it is hard at the beginning? What she found was that she did love bringing people together to have fun. She already knew that she loved to listen to people’s stories, the joyful ones and the painful ones, and help them enjoy themselves even at the end of a hard week. And she knew that she did not care about helping people become the next Picasso or Kahlo. This could be her space. She gave herself permission to give it a go.
Her first attempts with others were full of learnings and mess–especially paint on good dress clothes, but people kept booking in and paying for it, and she kept going. Now she has a huge list of people who have been to her classes and have made comments, like “this was so much fun.” “The teacher was awesome.” “Thanks for listening to me and helping me get over my week and do this painting.” She has a list of people who she didn’t know who have now given her permission to keep going. And she responded to this by continuing to do it, develop it her way, and have fun when she does.
We can all do likewise. But it does require us to be honest with ourselves; honest, when someone gives us permission; and honest as we explore whether we can receive it and give ourselves permission.
Don’t underestimate the power of permission to lead. And, equally, don’t underestimate the need to receive it when it is given.
